Top 10 tips for newly divorced moms

They say that being a parent is the toughest job in the world, but there is no job that is tougher than becoming a single parent. No one thinks when you have children that you will be raising your kids by yourself, but when you get divorced, even though you have an ex-spouse, when it is your time with the kids the responsibility lies squarely on your shoulders, and sometimes that weight can be very heavy.

Here are some tips to help make your transition into life as a newly divorced mom easier.

• Budget your money. You don’t have two incomes to rely on anymore or even one large income, just your income and child support. Learn to budget and cut out the unimportant things, remember, what is important is the time you are with your kids, not what you buy for them.

• Budget your time. Whether you work or stay at home, you will be doing it all now, from carpool to homework to bath and bedtime. Learn how to budget your time so you can still have “me” time to recharge!

• Master the art of being a co-parent. You might be divorced from your ex, but you still have to raise children together. Keep the lines of communication open and work together for the sake of the children.

• Become self-reliant. Everything falls on your shoulders as a single parent, and that includes issues with the car, the house and the kids. Each repair that you fix yourself, without relying on anyone else – except a repairman – is a huge step towards your independence!

• Have the patience of a saint. It takes time for children to adjust to the single parent household and the new routine of going back and forth. Don’t be surprised if your children act out when they first come back from a visit with the other parent. Maintain your patience and remember this too shall pass.

• Set up new rules. New house, new house rules. Because you are now a one-parent household, set up new rules with your kids. Changing the rules is not a bad thing, and it also shows the kids that you are all starting a new life!

• Take time for you. Don’t feel as if it’s selfish to put your kids in front of a movie so you can take a bath or have some time alone to repower. Remember, a happy mom equals happy kids.

• Ask for help. We all need some help sometimes, so don’t be afraid to ask for it. Whether it’s help from a parent or friend, it’s vital that you don’t try to do it all on your own. Good friends and family will not feel as if you are taking advantage of them when you ask, so don’t be shy.

• Stay positive. It’s so important to know that even though you are now divorced, this doesn’t mean that your children are now going to fail or not be able to have a successful relationship. Children learn by example, so if you love them, they will learn love.

• Love your new life. There is no denying that this is a tough time, but embrace the change and look at it as an adventure into a better place and life for you and your children.

Photo source: Fire Eyes Photography

Lee Brochstein

Lee Brochstein is a "been there, done that" mom of two as well as a certified professional divorce coach, blogger, a well-known author and a nationally known expert from her appearances on television and radio talk shows. She works with individuals, attorneys, mediators and families to help navigate the process of life after divorce. To find out more about how Lee’s straightforward, no-nonsense approach, guidance and business sense can help take the emotion out of the process of rebuilding your life and get you on the fast track to finding happiness again, please visit her at LeeBlock.com or PostDivorceChronicles.com, you can also follow her on Twitter at @LeeBrochstein or find her on Facebook.

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