I am THAT mom

I’m not sure when I decided to become the most disorganized school mom. The one ducking through drop-off with her hair in a messy bun. The one hoping that the slippers I’m wearing are in fact shoes. (They told me at the store they were shoes!)

Actually, I’m not sure it was a choice. I don’t think I ever stood a chance of being anything else.

I tried with my daughter. I really did. But once my son entered elementary school, I officially gave up. He is not nearly as organized as my daughter, so between the two of us, it is likely we will not know when anything is going on or where we’re supposed to be. Ever.

When a school project requires a costume, he usually ends up getting something out of the closet at school that the teacher keeps stocked (for parents like me and kids like him). Other times, I don’t even know he’s supposed to dress up so he just makes it up himself. Part of me cares. Part of me wants him to be the kid who is well dressed in the costume not made out of his dad’s t-shirt. The other part of me is tired.

Last school year the kids in his class did president reports. I decided this time I was going to be on it. His name is Lincoln. He was doing President Lincoln for the report. I could not fail at this.

I started shopping online for costumes more than a month before. Now, I am as frugal as they come, so I didn’t want to spend money on a costume. But the other option was me piecing something together that made sense and looked good. Not going to happen. I could not find a costume on Amazon prime – knife in the heart. Instead, I actually had to order one a good amount ahead of time so that it could ship. But I did it! I was crazy proud of myself. Pathetic? Maybe. But for some of us, small victories count.

The costume arrived. It fit for the most part. (The pants had to be rolled over ten times, but whatever – it worked.) The top hat was glorious. WE WERE READY. Me. My Son. Ready ahead of time. It was a great feeling.
The night before I had him set the costume out on his floor. Even down to his shoes. We had this in the bag. We were owning this dress up thing this time. I was adulting like a boss.

He woke up in the morning and ate breakfast, then began getting ready. He came to me, costume on, look of panic in his eyes. “Mom, I don’t have a beard.”

You have got to be kidding me. How, in all the times we tried on this costume, did neither of us think of a beard? How was that even possible? And why didn’t the costume come with a beard? Shouldn’t that be a staple for an Abe Lincoln costume? And why was my son only thinking of this now? I wanted to cry and rage at the injustice of it all.

Instead, I simply said, “You’ll have to go without a beard. It will be fine.”

“But it’s Abe Lincoln! He needs a beard.”

My mind started spinning. Should I go to the costume shop after dropping him off? Who would carry an Abe Lincoln beard this time of year? And that will be another twenty bucks. I don’t want to pay for it. What do I do? I thought we had this one in the bag!

My son said, “I’m going to make one out of paper.”

Huh? He makes everything out of paper. He’s a black whole for all of the tape in our house, and he once fought me over a ream of paper. Yes, white copy paper. But a beard made out of paper? Seriously? And his outfit was so spot on this time! A paper beard wasn’t exactly going to improve the look.

He went off to begin building a beard while I spiraled, still not sure what to do.

I finally decided to let him make it. Why not? I am that mom. The one who lets her kid make his own costumes and do his own projects.

He wore the beard to school. It was actually pretty creative. He didn’t end up wearing it all day. By the time his class did the wax museum, it was off. I didn’t manage to get a picture with him wearing the beard, because – you guessed it – I am that mom. I’m just amazed I have a photo of him dressed up at all.

Jill Lynn

Jill Lynn is a hot mess, loud laughter and coffee addict who writes small-town happily ever afters. She lives near the beautiful Rocky Mountains with her husband and two children and can be found online at Jill-Lynn.com or on Facebook and Instagram. Her latest release, The Rancher’s Surprise Daughter, is in stores and online now.

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