Happily married: Seven secrets to a successful date night

Being happily married means keeping your relationship fresh. Dates are great opportunities to escape from the everyday, methodical routine of life. These special nights are reserved times to talk, laugh and remember the love that gets overlooked during the weekly schedule. Time together is essential for connection. Going on a date is a great time to look your best, flirt with each other, and have positive conversation. Dates are designed to reignite the chemistry, to remember you are man and woman (not just a Dad or Mom, a boss or employer). It’s a night when you add deposits to the marital bank. Here are seven secrets to having a successful date:

1. Dress up. There’s nothing better than getting a little gussied up to feel beautiful inside and out. I think a new outfit just may be better than Prozac. Dressing up is a statement of your value. When you and your partner feel and smell good, it increases self-confidence which helps you to feel sexy and see your partner as sexy.
2. Get out of your comfort zone. Go somewhere new. Save your regular local restaurants for another occasion. Make date nights new and fresh. Creating new memories together is an important bonding activity for your marriage.
3. Keep your evening light. Keep conversation about the night to the night. Stay in the moment. Don’t focus on your children, what happened that day at work (unless you had a sexy success, then this is great night to celebrate). Keep your time together and your mood light-hearted and focus on the love you feel for each other.
4. Be gracious. Feel grateful you’re with someone wonderful and know that you are wonderful too.  Verbally affirm each other in positive ways to show the love you feel. If you’re in love, you’re so very lucky. Remember this and bring this energy into the date.
5. Love yourself. Keep in mind that people will reflect back to you whatever feelings you have and are directing towards yourself. If you’re feeling love towards yourself, you’ll attract feelings of love from others. Love yourself. It’s the most important ingredient to a successful relationship. When you have confidence in yourself, your partner will see you as self-sufficient, independent, and sexy.
6. Take a bath. There’s no better way to end a romantic date. After coming home from a delicious dinner and a glass of wine, get in the bathtub. Add some bath salts, dim the lights, and light some candles. Some of the best conversations can occur in the bathtub. It’s time for intimacy (not intercourse). It’s a time to rest, relax, talk and connect through verbal intimacy.
7. Have sex. Take your date to the next level of intimacy and end the date with sex. This is where things come full circle. You’ve shared positive and light conversation, held hands, snuggled, kissed, and laughed. You’ve loved and felt loved, taken a romantic bath together, and now you can bring all those pieces together physically. A marriage without sex is a roommate situation. Sex brings people into the part of a relationship that makes them married. Enjoy each other.

There’s nothing like shared intimacy and a good time to relieve the friction that’s part of every marriage. Love each other. We actually forget to do this in our marriage, which is so ironic, because it was the feelings of love that caused us to marry our spouse in the first place. Dates are one of the best ways to act out, remember, and further create that love.

Little life message:  Dates are nights to remember you are a man and a woman. Love each other.

What special activities do you make a part of date night? What else would you add to this list?

Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.

Dr. Sherrie Campbell is an author and a licensed Psychologist with more than nineteen years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life. Get her free article on Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication. She is also a featured expert on a variety of national websites and has a successful practice in southern California. Receive free insights from Sherrie and get involved in her Facebook community with others looking to improve their relationship. For more information visit SherrieCampbellPhD.com.

tell us what you think