Indecision: 4 Tips for making and trusting your choices

You and I are old enough to know what we want and what we don’t want. By now we also know who we are and who we aren’t. We definitely have a handle on what makes us happy and what gives us a knot in the stomach. We can also identify the people we enjoy spending time with as opposed to those who make us wish we were getting an annual pap smear rather than sitting down with them for a visit.

We know; but do we trust ourselves to make good decisions based on this knowledge?

I recently found myself deliberating about a professional opportunity. Weighing the pros and cons with the exactitude of a size 16 woman on Weight Watchers, hoping to get into a size 10 dress by next week. At some point, we have to stop weighing and choose. For the woman on Weight Watchers, the choice is to go out and buy a size 16 dress that she feels fabulous in. For me, I needed to realize that if the opportunity didn’t make me shout “YES!,” it was most likely an emphatic “NO!”

If you are in your 40’s or have joined me in the Fab 50’s, you probably know what you want. Yet you may feel the need to deliberate. Why is this? Are we unsure of our own intuition? Do we feel that if we decide too quickly, we may be deemed impetuous or flighty? Are we afraid we may regret our decisions?

I hear you telling me we should take our time and weigh our options. I agree. But when does weighing our options become a stressful exercise filled with doubt and lack of clarity? What about those times when we think we’re unsure because of a deep underlying fear of something new?

There’s good news!

You know when you are avoiding something simply because it scares or challenges you.

Trust yourself. Somewhere between “let me think about that,” and “Yes!” or “No Way,” is a place where we can trust ourselves to choose. The wonderful thing about choices: There is always another choice around the bend.

Did you make a choice you didn’t like? No worries. You learned some lessons and have lots of other opportunities to make many more choices.

Here are four tips for making and trusting your choices:

1.   Start with small things.

When you are at a restaurant, look at the menu and choose the thing that looks delicious. A baked potato with a side of French fries? You’re a girl after my own heart.

2.   Restrict your time.

When you are making a larger choice, give yourself a time limit.

3.  Collect information.

Be proactive about identifying the information you need to make a choice. Collect this information and pledge to make the decision once you have completed your due diligence. Don’t continue the research process by adding more tasks to complete before deciding.

4.   Play it out in your mind.

When faced with a decision, close your eyes and imagine each scenario. What do you see? The answer might be obvious.

Remember, most decisions are not really final. Trust yourself to do your best and to have the ability to modify, change, grow, and expand to fit what the future brings.

Jamee Tenzer

Download Jamee's 3 FREE e-books and become a happier, guilt-free and more relaxed mom.  Jamee Tenzer, PCC, BCC has been coaching women for 12 years. Now she's sharing the tips she's learned with you.  She specializes in coaching 40/50-something moms, female executives, and women in entertainment.  She is also a Mentor and Trainer for the International Coach Academy. Visit JameeTenzer.com for more information.

tell us what you think